Blessings Abound

Normal life has resumed.  Praise God! I haven't updated in a long time, and for good reason.  We've been super busy.  I am now working part time at a doctor's office about 20 minutes away and really like my job.  The best news of all - WE MOVED INTO A HOUSE!! Yes! Around the 3rd week of March we moved into the cutest little bungalow with tons of character and a fenced in back yard!  We are totally in love and totally moved in.  Ellie has the entire 2nd floor to herself, it's truly a tween girl's delight.  There are lots of windows, lots of sunlight, a huge mud/laundry room.... we are loving it.  Pictures will come very soon after we are completely unpacked and organized.  It's not the greatest photo, but courtesy of Google maps, here's the front!  Right now we have no leaves on anything, but there are shoots of green things growing in the flower beds and I can't wait to find out what they are! I'm pretty sure the two trees out front are flowering trees, and I am beside myself waiting for little buds to appear on the branches.  Can you tell I'm over the moon?

We've been enjoying family and friends over the past few months, getting into our new routine and we began attending a new/old church!  We are now attending and involved at the church Josh grew up in and we have finally found a church home.  I am so grateful.  My heart is overflowing.  God has been good the whole time, and we finally feel like we can settle in here and really begin life.

Ellie and her friend Emily on Easter

Lula Belle has already found her sunny spot at the new house.

It's a short update, but (for the one thousandth time) I really am going to try to be more consistent here.  Now that we're settled and life IS returning to normal (a new normal), I think I can do it.  Hopefully I'll have many more photos to share of our new home in the next week or so!  Keep checking back! 

This time of transition and mourning is close to over, and I am so grateful and thankful for a God who sits and holds me while I go through it.  I'm sure there will be troubles in the future, but for now I'm going to enjoy this time of new beginnings and praise Him, no matter what I'm going through. 

Ah, the homeless life

I'm feeling a lot better since my last post.  I'm not as angry, but I'm still dealing with it.  I still want to send hate mail to the people who made our homelessness possible.  But I'm not.  Because I'd look like a fool.  And being a fool ain't cool.  So I take deep breaths and focus on the positive.

I say we're homeless, because technically we are.  We have no permanent home.  Josh's grandparents have graciously opened their home and spare bedrooms to us and that's where we've been ever since September 1st.  Josh's job is going well, he likes it and everyone loves him, even the CEO.  It's a good thing.  Ellie loves school, but of course still misses friends (in both Brookings and Topeka) and she's still finding her own way.  We head to Fort Wayne next week for All State Honors Choir, which is, in fact, a great honor.  Only around 140 kids from around the state are chosen to participate in this, and she is 1 of them.  We are so incredibly proud of her.  Although she still asks me about once a week if she can be homeschooled.  I don't understand this.

I have had the worst time finding a job.  I don't understand this, either.  I have an impressive resume and outstanding references (if I do say so myself.) and yet no bites.  I have 2 interviews in the past month, 1 job is over an hour away in downtown Indy.  I LOVE downtown Indy, I loved interviewing there!  I know I'd like the job, but the drive.... egh.  Not so sure.  The other interview is for a primary care practice in Carmel, which isn't a bad drive, but it sounds like the office is full of drama.  No thank you.  Although I'd say yes if they offered, because I like living in my own house and paying bills.  Ya know, extravagant things like buying groceries and putting gas in my car.  It's nice when you can do that.  I'm continuing to look and send resumes and cold call business and harass them every few weeks.  They probably know my number on caller ID now and warn the office manager when I call.. "It's that crazy lady again looking for a job.. should I say you're out?"   Yep, it's me.  GIMME A JOB!!!

Depression is not as frequent as it was.  I'm getting over bronchitis and the awesome narcotic cough medicine that my doctor prescribed me was a great help in this.  Hey, I'm just saying.  Not an addict, but I loved tuning out and not caring for a few hours a day.  It was bliss.  I also started faithfully doing a daily "devotional" plan.  (Can I share with you how much I hate the word devotional?  Or "doing my devotions"? I feel like a 75 year old bun-lady from the old Wesleyan camp-meeting days or like I'm in Jr. High again with my "Teen Devotional" by whoever was a "cool" Christian then. Ugh.)  Anyway, it's online thing from a group of women like me.  I like it.  It's She Reads Truth.  It's a group of women who somehow know each other and they started this topical Bible study that changes every few weeks or so.  You can follow it on your You Version app on your iPhone or iPad, or just go to the website.  They also have a twitter feed and an Instagram feed (#shereadstruth) It's very relevant and each of the writers have blogs for you to go to and wish you were them and pine over their perfectly laid out blogs with ads blinking everywhere and using words like, "Oh, honey!" and "Oh my goodness, ya'll!" And they all look like ads from Target or H&M or Gap.  Oh, and they're all skinny.  Someone else for me to compare myself to.  But I digress, I do like their website and Bible studies.

I also derive inspiration and encouragement from a number of other blogs, these are women who think like me, they're not afraid to be themselves to the very core of their being, and they inspire me.  I also want to be their friends and I frequently stalk their blogs.  They are:

~freeplaylife
~Walk Slowly Live Wildly (I have followed this gal for years, I'm sure she's filed a restraining order.)
~The Organic Sister
~Gussy Sews
~Sugar Pie Farmhouse (I love Aunt Ruthie.  I want to go to her house for a retreat & eat pie. Also followed    her for many years.
~The Pioneer Woman (Who doesn't love Ree?! She's always funny and can lift your spirits.)
~Jen Hatmaker (Author of a few phenomenal books that are thought provoking and life changing. She is also stinking hilarious.
~Kevin & Amanda

Those are just a few.  I do feel like I know each of these women personally.  They are not imaginary, but we are imaginary friends.  So if you're feeling low and need a good read or some inspiration, visit these sites.

I've made some more changes in my life, but that will have to be for another post, one in the near future I hope.  I need to get better at this blogging thing.  Like, doing it. More frequently.  If there are any readers out there, thanks for reading to the very end of this post!  See you soon.

Avoiding God

I've been avoiding God.  Because all things that have to do with God (ministry, friends, staff) have hurt me and my family deeply.  And every time I start to think about Him, I think of all of the things that have happened to us in the past 10 years, and most of all the past 4 months.  I think about how hurt my 10 year old little girl is, and how within 10 days she was ripped away from a town and friends and a school that she loved.  It pisses me off.  To say I have a lot of anger and bitterness is an understatement.  I'm not mad at God.  Really, I'm not, and I'm tired of people saying, "You shouldn't be mad at God."  Great, I agree.  And I'm not.  I'm angry at the people who made the past 4 months of our lives possible. With complete disregard to our family.  We've been been visiting a church and I'm trying to just sit and blend in.  Problem is, every time the band does a song we did in the past 2 years, I'm brought to tears because it brings back all the hurt all over again.  All the anger.   Re-living those 10 days before we moved back to Indiana.  The lack of concern from those who said they loved us and were our friends.  I just want to run from the sanctuary and sit in the car until it's all over.  So church isn't good for my soul right now, either.  Really, I'm OK with God.  God and me are alright.  But it's the thinking of things and experiencing things that surround the business of God that make me not alright.   Have you ever seen the movie "The Neverending Story"?  If you have, do you remember when Atreyu is walking and trudging through the Swamps of Sadness?  That is what it feels like every time I'm at church or think of the "business" of ministry. That is my current state of mind.

I'm sinking into a depression and I'm almost to the point that it overwhelms me.  I'm not interested in anything these days, except being with my family.  (The only good thing that came of this ordeal was that we are closer to family now.) I'm not joyful.  It's gone.  Like way gone.  It hurts to see other people happy.  People that live in their own house/apartment/condo/dwelling.  People that are happy in ministry.  People that are - well - happy.  It hurts to see happy in other people. This is one of the many reasons I'm not on facebook right now.  I can't stand seeing other people happy.  It also wells up anger, jealousy and bitterness.  Three things I know for sure God doesn't want for me.  Along with a major time waster, that is why I'm not on there.

However, I recognize that I still need God, unattached to the triggers that make me upset.  Unattached to the "business" side of things.  A simple, uncomplicated God that just wants to scoop me up in His arms and tell me it's all going to be ok, eventually.  To remind me that others have it way worse.  To remind me that everything is in His time.  It's so, so hard when you're in the middle of it. When there seems to be no way out and you're typing this from the bedroom that you call your house within someone else's house.  When the people that hurt you with complete disregard are happy.  It hurts to the core.  But God has reminded me that He is not the music, He is not the people who hurt us, He is not the ministry side of things that make me want to scream and run away.  He is carrying us, He is holding us, and He cares about my hurt.  Another blogging gal wrote about this very same thing today and I'm glad she did.  I thought about just writing about this in my journal and never telling anyone, but I realized that this is why I started this blog - to be transparent about my life and share things from it, good, bad and ugly.  Well, this is definitely the ugly.  Good and happy and daisies and rainbows and bunnies will come.  But for now, I need to focus on connecting with God in a new way.  And He is powerful enough and cares about me enough that He will help me do it.

Changes

I really want to blog.  I really, really do.  I follow so many blogs it's embarrassing. The really embarrassing part is that I think I know these people.  Most of them I've never met, and when I talk about a blog post to a real-life friend, I refer to the said blogger as, "My friend posted this..."  Yeah, I've never met them.

Anyway, this is my 168th attempt to re-start my blog.  Hopefully I can be more consistent enough to satisfy readers, if there are any.

The Delph family has had many changes in the past few months. We used to live in South Dakota and now we don't.  However, we are very happy to be back home in Indiana after seven long years of living away.  We moved to Josh's hometown of Tipton, Indiana. I've always wanted to live here, even when I was growing up and didn't know Josh!

 

I love the Tipton County Courthouse.  It's like stepping back in time.  Ellie calls it Hogwarts. I love that she calls it that.

We moved back to Indiana due to a ... let's call it a major "change" in Josh's career.  (Don't worry, nothing scandalous or any illegal activity to be announced) An extremely unexpected change.  We left for vacation on August 12th to go to Indiana to do the 2012 Delph Family Tour.  We were gone for 10 days.  10 days after that, on September 1, we were moving a 24 foot U-Haul with me following behind in the family car making the 16 hour drive back to Indiana with no idea of what lie ahead.  I can't go into much detail of what happened in the 10 days between us arriving home from vacation to moving "home" back to Indiana.  It's a new start for us.  After a few months, Josh found a job as a web/packaging designer!

Ellie and I were able to visit him at his office one afternoon.  He has lots of windows and works in a great location!  And the commute isn't bad from Tipton, either.

I also found a part time job and Ellie is loving school and making new friends, although she misses her life in South Dakota very much.  Thanks to modern technology, she has been able to spend time with her friends via Skype and texting.  Yes, we let our 10 year old have a phone.  Don't judge me.

We still don't know the major details of what lies ahead for us.  For now, we are living with Josh's grandparents until we are able to find a home of our own.  It's tight quarters, but they are so gracious and we are so blessed that we all get along wonderfully.  It could be a lot worse.  I'm grateful for their generosity and hospitality.

I feel like I've been down this "change" road a billion times before and I should be used to it by now, but I'm not.  For some reason it's different this time.  I feel different, free somehow... and excited.  Mostly excited to be home with my family.  I've missed them something fierce, and now they are just down the road.  And I'm not shy about my obsession with Indiana sunsets and sunrises...

Who wouldn't love waking up to this every day?  I've said it everywhere we live, there is nothing prettier than an Indiana sunrise or sunset.

'Til next time... hopefully less than a year.

Bowling Alley Supper

Ellie's Wednesday night Kid's class had a party at the bowling alley last night. We had to be there earlier than normal class time, and I was thinking about supper and how little time we would have to eat. Then my friend at work told me there was a great restaurant in the bowling alley! Wha?! Where I come from, all you get is beer, Tostinos pizza, and maybe some cold nachos. I was so pleasantly surprised by this quaint little place!

I got the pork tenderloin, a old favorite of mine. Talk about homemade goodness!

And the best part of all... the one tried and true amenity to a great restaurant... they serve breakfast ALL DAY! Ellie thoroughly enjoyed her pancakes!

Josh and I may have just found our new lunch date spot!

Introducing Us

I am going to

I am a native of the Hoosier State, Indiana, and met my husband, J, at Indiana Wesleyan University.  We started out in Creative Arts ministry 12 years ago in northern Michigan (one of my favorite places that we've lived) and have been in and out of ministry ever since.  I'll spare you the details of our ministry woes, but we have lived all over, from Omaha to southwest Kansas, to Colorado Springs, and now back to the great state of Indiana.

Jesus is my first passion in life, and my prayer is that my life reflects Him in such a way that when other people see me, they want Him to be their first passion, too.  I love leading worship with my husband, being a mentor to young teenage girls, and teaching my own child about Jesus.

In recent years (like the past 18 months, I guess) I have become more and more conscious of how media and technology have shaped our current culture.  I think you'd have to be living under a rock to not see the differences.  Now, I'm not going to tell you that we don't have TV or cell phones or internet (obviously).  Believe me, we DVR has changed our life (for the better, I think), my iPhone is tethered to my body, and we enjoy all modern conveniences of life.  However, I am more aware that our family needs to return to basics of life. I would consider myself very conservative, short of wearing dresses all the time (because I look like a hobbit in a dress).  I just want to return to a simpler and more wholesome way of life.

I was born in the mid-1970's, but I was raised by parents who understood the importance of family, and I am very close to my Mamaw who grew up in poverty in the hills of Kentucky.  Talk about simple things in life! I never get tired of hearing her stories from her upbringing.  Every year, all of my family from that area of the country gathers to eat good food, kiss new babies, share old stories, and remember our loved ones who have gone home to be with the Lord.  These are my most favorite memories of growing up, and I believe they have made me who I am today.  I absolutely love baking, making a good meal for my family, making my house a home, taking care of my husband and daughter, and teaching her how to do all of this along the way.

I grew up on Andy Griffith, Little House on the Praire, Johnny Cash and Loretta Lynn.  My city-fied husband? He is not so keen on the music, but he does love some Little House! Although, we just lost the Hallmark Channel on our cable service, and no other channel shows Little House. Boo hoo! E, our daughter, has come to love all things wholesome, and I couldn't be happier about it.

I am striving for a more wholesome, Christ-centered life and to raise my daughter in the same way.  This has been a process for me, as I'm constantly making changes in what I watch on TV, the music I listen to, the places I go, and the words that come from my mouth.  I truly believe in garbage in, garbage out.  I have a verse taped to my computer at work to remind of where my mind should be at all times, no matter what is happening around me.  Phillipians 4:8 says, "Finally, Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things."  It is a constant battle to do this in the world we live in, but with Jesus' help, I can strive for it!